Chapter 2 - a new path

Skulduggery looked at the screen and felt heights of hatred he had long ago felt, but never expected to feel again reawaken; but then, no one ever does. They twisted and struggled to be let free in a fit of rage and screaming, but this was not skulduggery's style. He knew that doing so would lessen his hate against Erskine, and that was something he needed to finish the job. So he let it grow, let it consume him, a new purpose for a new era.

But it failed to do so completely. For although when he had felt this rage before he had been completely absorbed in revenge against Serpine, in this hate there was something else. An overwhelming sadness at the loss of two friends; at people with which he had spent lifetimes, and had hoped to continue doing so. This sadness fought back the darkness within that threatened to control him once more, and his being changed into something inherently better; his stance becoming a little straighter as he became a little more worthy. For now he fought not driven by the hate for his enemy, no, but for the love of his friends.

So yeah. This one's dark again. Why am I better at these?

So hey I will attempt a funny fanfic. You may laugh more at the attempt than at the fanfic itself, but that's OK because at least I managed to add some laughter and brightness to your day :) enjoy

"This will be a two man mission. Saracen, we need you here because of your ability, and because everyone else was busy with more important stuff. Do try not to get too cosy with this one." Meritorious punctuated the last sentence with an exasperated sigh, as Saracen was known for having a way with people.
A few minutes later, a sandy haired man strolled through the door, smiling nonchalantly as if there wasn't a war on.
Saracen rose. Meritorious stayed seated.
"Saracen, meet Dexter. Dexter, Saracen."
Rue took a moment to observe him in all his glory. Wait, what? Where has that come from? The man with chiselled abs wasn't Glorio-. Wait. Chiselled abs? Saracen sighed, shrugged.
"Hey bae."
"Hey babe."
"Looking good there."
"You too, you work out?"
"Only on the weekend", Rue winked.
Meritorious looked up and nodded sagely.
"Yup. You're both insane. Out of my office."


"So what's the mission?" Vex asked as they got to the airport
"We're to break into a persons house and find Intel that they may have on Mevolents troops. However, it is in Spain, so I fully intend to sunbathe for at least a day."
Vex gasped, "Wait you're not saying we should shirk our responsibility are you?"
Rue stopped and stared. Vex stared back for a whole 3 seconds before snorting and cracking into a grin.
"Hahahah wooo let's go to the beach! Screw you Mevolent you don't scare me."
The two men in suits whooping down the corridors drew astounded looks from all sides, and many parents averted their children's eyes; though were not entirely sure as to why they felt this way.

"I'm bored." Rue winged for the fifth time in the two minutes they had arrived on the plane.
"No really? I hadn't fucking realised. I thought maybe you were just being sarcastic the first four times."
Saracen shrunk in his chair, and his head drifted downwards.
"Sorry.."
"No babe. Don't take it the wrong way, I'm not mad at you.." Vex said, reaching over Rues shoulder comfortingly, then digging his fingers sharply into a nerve cluster. Saracen hissed and jerked spasmodically.
"Gonna have to do better than that." Dexter laughed.
"Dammit." He muttered, scowling and assuming a hunched form in his seat.
"Oh you're sulking now? Mature."
"....."
"Really? Silent treatment?"
"..."
"Fine then. Two can pay at that game."
".........."
"........"
"......"
"...."
"........."
"....."
"......."
".."
"I'm bored."
"Say that again, and my fist will be so far up your ass..." He left the unfinished sentence dangling in the air between them. Vex looked at Saracen, daring him too. Saracen gazed back. He leaned in and went up to Vexs ear. His lips parted and the softest of whispers sounded.
"I'm. Bored."
"Right that's it come here."
A couple next to them looked over with horror and intrigue.
"Told you we should have gotten first class." The boyfriend muttered. The girl out a finger to his lips and got out her phone.
"Shh it's just getting interesting..."

"She seemed nice." Vex commented as they got into their room.
"Do I look 30 to you? She was rude and blind is what she was. And she had stolen £15 from the till." Saracen hissed.
"Well she was perfectly nice to me." Vex gloated.
"Shut up. I hate you so much right now."
"There there. Wait, how did you know she had stolen money?
"I just know things."
"Know things?"
"Yeah."
"How old am I?"
"I said some things. Often they're not particularly useful things"
"But how do you know those things."
"I just do." Saracen was grinning now, enjoying himself immensely at the sight of Vex's building frustration.
"But how do you?!"
"Magically."
"But how?!!"
Rue paused for a few seconds, took a deep breath, then gave Vex the finger. They paused like this for a second, then Dexter tacked him to the floor and promptly spent the next 10 minutes attempting to beat an answer out of him.

The sunlight sparked like diamonds on the waters edge, barely penetrating the deeps below, creating a visual wonder of nature at its finest. But it was ignored in favour of the ripped beast of a man laying on the beach.
"Damn." Rue mumbled, looking down at himself and cursing himself for eating that ice cream.
"So, you never said what your discipline was."
"That's right I didn't."
"Aww cmon stop being grumpy."
"No."
"You're no fun at all."
Vex sighed. "I'm an energy thrower."
"The Laser beam powers?"
"Yes, the laser beam power."
"Cool. So anyway,  you reckon we'll find Intel at this place?"
"Nah, you?"
Saracen shrugged, "You never know. But I'm gonna nap now."
He slept for about an hour, and awoke refreshed and awake in time to see Dexter coming up or of the sea followed by a menagerie of women.
"Oh for Gods sake.."

They arrive at the hotel room opposite the house of Luciana Scáth at roughly 3 o'clock. Saracen sat on the bed, unpacking a suitcase.
"Right we have 1 hour to prepare for what might await us at the house, so bring all your tools."
"And what sort of tools would they be?"
"Well didn't Meritorious give you a list of things to get?"
"Would this list have come in a letter?"
"I imagine so, why?"
Vex chucked nervously, " well you see I was running out of material to start my fire... "
Saracen pinched the bridge of his nose in an barely successful attempt not to punch Dexter in his ruggedly good looking face. He paused and looked up slowly.
"Aren't you an energy thrower?"
"Yeah wh- . . . . . . oh yeah." Vex stepped carefully away from Saracen.
"Well at least they should know now to make their letters fireproof..." Vex trailed off into nothingness as Rue once again attempted to quell the urges to inflict pain and violence upon Dexter. He wasn't so successful this time.

They arrived later at the house, entering through the back door. Rue gave an all clear as Dexter blasted the locks on the back by focusing his energy beams more precisely. The intricacies of security mattered little to these two.
"Right OK stealth is key." Saracen said, "We need to get into the vault hidden in the floor, but there are traps that set off alarms and symbols all around the door. So one again for your benefit, subt-"
Rue jumped to the side instinctively as red beams lit up the door, blasting it off its hinges and sending it hurling into the other room. He got up, took a moment to glare at Dexter, then glanced around for a trap to spring.
"Guess you were wrong" Dex commented smugly.
"No I'm never wrong."
"Well maybe you read the signs wrong or whatever."
"I'm telling you, I didn't."
"Well maybe -"
A deep, smooth voice sounded behind them,
"No, he didn't."
Saracen spun, then hissed in annoyance and scowled.
"Vampire. And here I was thinking we might have gotten away with it. Oh and Dexter?"
"Mmmmm?"
"You suck."

The vamp lay unconscious on the floor, a hole in the wall had appeared, and Saracen was whining again.
"You're paying for this." He said with a pointed look. "This was a brand new suit. I chose it especially because it was blue. And on offer."
"Look I'll buy you a new one."
"You'd better. Look at the claw marks on the edge here. No finesse whatsoever. All jagged and horrible looking. I thought vampires were meant to have class and sophistication."
Vex spoke patronisingly as he melted the locks on the steel safe door embedded into the ground.
"Well maybe he was due for his next manicure tomorrow."
"No need to be condescending."
"Well maybe if you didn't act like such a 6 year old..."
"Life would be no fun if I acted my age though. You done there yet? You're taking a long time. Maybe you're not as powerful as you think you are." Saracen joked.
"Yeah well you're definitely not as hot as you think you are."
"..... That was uncalled for"
"Sorry babe"
"It's OK you're forgiven"
They stared into each others eyes. Their beautiful, shinin- the door popped off its hinges and both men cleared their throats in an attempt to regain some manliness, but failed spectacularly. Saracen choked, and Vex swallowed a spider on the intake.

Meritorious looked up from his files only to find Dexter Vex and Saracen Rue panting in front of him.
"You said it was urgent?" Vex quizzed.
"Yes. You are going to be sent on another mission immediately. Rue, you're going with Anton Shudder to check on an enemy camp getting closer to our borders. Vex, you are too report back to the English sanctuary. Quickly."
Vex glanced at Saracen to see him doing the same. They nodded.
"And even as I wander.." Rue began,
"I'll be keeping you in sight." Vex continued as he held Rues hands in front of him.
"You're a candle in the window.."
"On a cold, dark winters night."
"Beautiful metaphor." Rue murmured.
Meritorious emptied his lungs into the room, "And I'm Getting Closer Than I Ever Thought I Miiiiggghhtt... To having to kick both your out-of-tune asses out of my fucking office if you don't stop singing."
"I can't fight this feeling any mooooooooore." Dexter and Saracen whispered in unison. All that either of them could remember about that day was being thrown out of a window in positions that no human had ever tried before. They became good friends after that, but Saracen grumbled whenever it was brought up and Vex always mentioned that he actually found it quite soothing until the floor met his face.

Well, that was an attempt and it took me a while to write. But hey, it was fun.

Just some sp fanfic Written in 3rd PPOV about when Saracen tumbled 'aggressively' into an enemy camp and shudder had to save him.

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"We're here on a scouting mission only Saracen, remember? So don't go talking to people in the camp. Especially women." Shudder emphasised this last point with an warning glare that sent shivers through Saracen, making him second guess looking for that brunette in the blue gear he had spotted earlier.
"Fine, fine I promise not to go after anyone." He muttered, standing up to stretch. It really was a majestic view in early morning. The sky continued to lighten with the rising of the sun; seemingly endless voids of black giving way to calming shades of turquoisey blue. The treetops and grass stems alike glinted faintly, a small haven of natural land untampered by man. Not yet anyway. Saracen adjusted his footing slightly, and felt the rock beneath him give way.

"Shi-"

He tumbled down the slope, rolling to a painful stop coated in dust and gravel. Anton shudder leapt down after him, landing with a sharp grunt.
"Get up."
"Hsheifejurme." Rue mumbled.
"I said get up."
"I'm a little busy."
"Get the fuck up." An edge had formed to his voice, but Saracen missed it.
"I said I'm a little busy."
Shudder looked down at him. Saracen looked back. He got up.
A cough sounded behind them. The leader of the camp now starting to surround them stood in front, the morning sunlight glinting off his armour.
"Well what do we have here? You two lost your way?" He said, chuckling nastily.
The group echoed his reaction until Shudder and Saracen turned around, at which point silence fell, apart from a choking sound from the back.
Shudder spoke in calm tones, "We were not sent to take you down, so back off and we won't hurt you. You don't have to lose this day"
"Anton, there is no denying your not a formidable foe, but I have over 100 men in this camp. I'm afraid this just isn't your day."
"Even so, I'm could easily take down 40, and not all of them look as eager to die as you." Shudder was tensed, ready to run or fight any moment, but only Saracen could have guessed so, such was the extent of his suppression. Unease rippled throughout the camp at such words spoken from a man of few, and many unconsciously took steps back, not that it would do them any good was Shudder to unleash his magic. The leader, a man looking more and more dishevelled by the second, considered the proposal. Saracen could see him begin to second guess taking on Anton,  even with his numbers.
"I'm afraid I can't let you go. These are my soldiers after all, and they'll just have to do wha-"
The gist tore through his torso with an incomparable ferocity, a steam off darkness and light trailing after it, the dark of the creature slowly overwhelming the light of the user. But not yet. It was still good for another minute or so, and that was all he needed to end this. The sorcerers still stunned at the sudden loss of their general were rooted to the spot and fell first, the rapidly forming blades tearing viciously through bone and flesh with equal ease, making no distinction other than that between those still alive, and the corpses now strewn across the ground.

The two men walked away from a field no longer covered in luscious green, but instead one of one gleaming crimson in the bright midday light. Another mission accomplished. Another peaceful place of nature corrupted by the violence of man, and another 112 lives snuffed out in less than a minute. Another piece of his soul lost to the darkness within. Another day in the life of Anton Shudder.

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I'm planning on doing one for each dead man separately, and then maybe some of them all together? This started as Saracen, but ended as shudder - a lot more morbid than I intended. But hey, *shrugs*.

So hey I'm sure all of you have started reading skulduggery pleasant at some point, so I'd just like to talk about that world. Some of you will have started to read the books when you were the same age as Stephanie, and have been fortunate enough to grow with her as the books progress. I was not so lucky as I started to read them age 10 (but I like to think I was advanced so i could relate somewhat) so i was a little young. However, this did give me a strange, child-like hope that the world of skulduggery pleasant was real and that I could be a sorcerer, the kind of hope that is not swayed by logic and reason. I still hold onto this hope, and continue to believe that one day there will front page news of sorcerers living among us. WHEN that day comes, I shall be ready.

Due to this i spent plenty of time thinking about what disciplines i would want. The necromancer discipline has appealed to me immediately as something of a dark creature myself, (I don't like sunlight). However, I would also be tempted to dabble in energy-throwing, (or LASER BEAM POWER as I call it) and elemental powers - at least for my younger years. Obviously, I hoped to be magically ambidextrous, able to weild both the elements and necromancy/energy throwing. My chosen item would be a long, black, kitana like sword for necromancy, and I had always wanted to experiment with water and earth as forms of attacking (as they are normally very defensive elements) - this being mainly due to too many avatar episodes leading to standing in the rain attempting to waterbend...( if you have no idea what I'm on about, go watch avatar, the last airbender. But for gods sake don't watch the film. The cartoon dammit. The cartoon)

Let me know what magical disciplines you would choose (or any others you made up yourself) :)

So hey I thought I'd just post a headcanon since we know a lot more about.. Well everything really.

When skulduggery was Lord vile during the war, either him killing ghastlys mother or killing hopeless or larrikin was enough for Skulduggery's conscience to reassert itself. So I did a little fanfiction about what might have happened. Here it is:

Chapter 1 - And he waited.

The skeleton sat on the edge of the cliff, overlooking a scarred wasteland that looked like the hand of god himself had carved furrows into the earth; the remains of a living, breathing community that used to cover the ground. A gentle breeze ruffled the tattered clothes that hung off of him, parts hanging on by a thread, flashes of white bone visible through the layers. It carried the fading odour of ozone and magic; faint but still tangible. Scattered around him lay pieces of pitch black armour, symbols hidden beneath the outer coating designed to harness the death magic that radiated off the battlefield and add it to itself, as if it was a living, breathing being of its own, pulsing and shifting of its own accord.

Among the fallen that day, the dead corpses strewn across the ground, a woman lay swathed in two; her destructive power once spoken of in hushed whispers among soldiers on both sides now insignificant in the wake of Vile. The skeleton moved nigh an inch, simply sat there - unreadable, and waited. Waited for something to spur him into action, something to give him purpose, something to drive himself to collect the tattered remains of a life once lived and piece them together; a life now hidden deep within. A life filled with loss and pain and grief, but also one brimming with love and happiness and friendship. He gazed at the devastation he had wrought upon this civilization and countless others before it, and his head tilted to one side. The fire that had lied dormant within him for so long burst into flame, and Skulduggery Pleasant waited no more.

Hope you liked it. Let me know if you spot a problem or something you didn't like :) feedback is appreciated.

So hey I was reading a series that had a good epilogue the other day and a thought occurred to me. Wouldn't it be a great idea if like instead of having a couple of pages for it, the authors released another book or at least an online version in the form of an epilogue, tying up all those loose ends that everyone loathes, yknow? Since this is a sp blog, I think you can tell where I'm going with this. We need to convince Derek because otherwise he'll just leave us all with the largest cliffhanger in the universe, you know he will. All you nonexistent readers let me know what you think of this idea.

So we're just under a month away from the last book in the rollercoaster ride that has been skulduggery pleasant, and like many others I have reread the entire series in preparation for the mental torture that will undoubtedly soon follow after the finishing off the dying of the light, accompanied by an existential crisis that comes whenever finishing something you have devoted a part of your life to, (usually books or TV series). I'm not sure where I'm going with this, and even though any of you will not be reading this, I'd like to say that is been an honour to have been surrounded by all the like-minded insane people that this fandom consists of. Until the end my fellow sorcerers. Until the End.